Amazing things are afoot

So a few weeks ago my friend and ex-colleague "introduced" her aunt (an author) and I to each other. We emailed back and forth a few times, and I have OFFICIALLY LANDED her 100,000-word, non-fiction! I am so incredibly excited and proud of myself. Aside from Helen's introduction, I handled all of the professional stuff ON MY OWN. I was just saying to Michael, I'm not sure when I became so professional/such a grown up.

In other news, I haven't made any decisions. Shocked? I didn't think so. My contract is ticking away and even though I feel slight anxiety at having no where to be on Monday, June 3rd, I can't shake this feeling of success, accomplishment, and sheer freedom to be and do whatever it is that I damn well feel like. I know this isn't the best economy to be quitting jobs willy-nilly, especially without a clear cut plan, but worry not, friends, I got this.

BUT if you want to lend a helping hand, any jobs in editing, in museums, or the like being passed my way would be most helpful and appreciated. Especially if they are at the Philadelphia Art Museum, because I've already found the PERRRRRFECT job, I just need an in. I'm going to apply before the week is out. That's right, you read it here first, I very well MAY be making a come back, east coast. GET READY!

Right, so with all of this excitement I have to go to sleep. Ha. LOVE!

PS: I bought a new camera! It was about time.

Status update: Cover letter written, resume updated, just waiting on an edit!

Funerals in Vietnam

I've lived in Saigon for about 26 months and never ever will I get used to funerals. I've never BEEN to one, but I've heard them, been re-directed on roads, etc.

This morning at 5:30 the saddest saxophone played the saddest song, accompanied by what seemed to be an orchestra down on the street (I never climb out of bed to look because that would wake me up even more). I used to think they started at such obscene hours in the morning because it was the exact moment when the person died - you know, in the dead sleep when this painful brass music wakes you us, there's not a lot of coherent thought going on. Today, in half a daze at missing out on an hour of vital sleep, I finally asked one of my colleagues - one who doesn't take offense to my questions about the culture but laughs at me instead (try to keep up with the language and the blending of paragraphs... I don't how how to change that since blogspot reformatted):

LA: Good morning dear DK! So, what's the deal with the 5:30 am band when someone dies? I used to assume it was the time when the person died... but I can't imagine that 8 people have died at 5:30 am since I've lived here. DK: not sure understand ur question LA: In my neighbourhood when there's a funeral, there's always a band playing at 5:30 in the forsaken morning. DK: ahhhhh :D:D:D understand LA: Why do they do this? WHY? DK: (rofl)(rofl) LA: |-) DK: omg Lauren hahahahaha you make me hahahaha cannot stop laughing (rofl)(rofl) but u're so cute wen asking/thinking the reason of dat hahahaha (sorry will tell in 5mins after finish laughing) :D LA: haha laugh it up while I take a nap

[Ten minutes later, which I'll presume she was working, not laughing at me]

DK: ok finish haha. well, dats de time music band starts working my dear. its not cause of dats de time the person died. LA: But they only work for 1 hour?! DK: no, they start at dat time, den they rest. and they only work every time there's people come to visit the died people LA: So they sit there all day and wait for visitors? DK: yes exactly LA: WHO VISITS AT 5:30 IN THE MORNING!? DK: no no its the time they start, its like warm up LA: I see, I see. Well, it's mostly very beautiful music, I just wish they'd sleep in a bit later. DK: hahaha. to me i dont like, it's too noisy :| LA: You're right, it is VERY noisy. I can hear it CLEARLY on the 9th floor. DK: :D yes. and to me its also not "formal" too. funeral is something sad already, there is no fun for listening to music >"< LA: That's true. DK: but others think cause its too sad so we need music to make it less sad :| DK: one more thing the fee to invite music band is really expensive too. if it's just VNmese, traditional music, it will be 4M for 3 days and if it is music band who plays western music/foreign music (they call like that), de money will be double. so sometimes here, having a music band in the funeral is de way for some people who wants to show off that they're rich LA: That IS a lot! DK: it's useless, the died people dont listen to music

So, now I understand the system. And DK has a point which I think could be proven around the world - that we'd rather spend money on things we can't afford so people will thing we have more than we do. When really, we can't even buy what we need anymore.

I'm finishing up my contract here in just three short weeks. No idea what I'm doing next. Currently, I have two freelance projects in the mix, so that should keep me busy until August. Also, finally moving out of my building in two weeks. I'll be sad to have to learn new routes, but so so happy to be rid of the forsaken parking men.

Queue up, people!

I've learned over the years to keep my negativity to myself, which is why you rarely come across posts of lamentation. But I just needed to get off my chest, no matter how long I'm here or how many times I've been to get gas - I still hate the experience. I am forever being cut in the queue and there is no respect or regard for the lower portion of my legs which are at high risk of being burned (Saigon-kiss free since 2011!).

Really, the Vietnamese could stand to take a lesson in waiting their turn and waiting patiently. Another funny story, which also happened today, comes to mind: I forgot the packet of pills I'm taking at the office and was forced to go to the pharmacy pick up a new one - because there's a schedule to it. ANYWAY I'm in the queue, waiting my turn, though endlessly being cut by Vietnamese women (no one respects the order of lines! bastards). Anyway, I'm panicking because I can't remember the brand name and of course I can't say it in Vietnamese - then, by the grace of God, ... I've just realised this story isn't appropriate for a public forum, but let's just say everyone laughed and got what they wanted, even if I had to wait around much longer than planned.

Learn something new everyday. This is what I learned in Czech today: Byl lepší, než jsme si mysleli. It translates loosely to "It was better than we thought." Which is basically a life mantra around here.

Many happy birthdays to all of you January babies!

Happy New Year!

Hello loves, I hope you all enjoyed your turn of the year! I had a lovely dinner with colleagues and friends and then relocated to a different rooftop for drinks and fireworks with other friends. All in all, a wonderful night, though the fireworks must have been invisible - Saigon's really got to get a handle on all of the tall buildings going up (which, mind you, are mostly empty).

Of course, it wouldn't be so obviously a good night had I held on to my phone - now lost somewhere in the backpacker area. I hope someone that really needed a phone found it :)

I'm getting ready to start planning a two week-ish trip to the Philippines! Excited to see what all the fuss is about. I've also got another 10 days to kill before the end of Feb. Chime in: not including the States - from where would you like postcards!?

As for what I do in my free time (aside from fulfilling my New Years Resolution by upping my study time for French): a. I'm obsessed with MasterChef US. b. Even after having a full meal, without fail it makes me hungry. c. "What the hell is 'fish sauce'? And why does it taste like death?" HA! It's really not so bad, but surely shouldn't be consumed alone by the mouth-full.

Thinking of you all here in sunny Saigon. Big love! <3

Butts and such

So, Big Boss is ridiculously proud of some silly blog he wrote in French months ago. He's gloating, while also goading us to up our game. Meanwhile, we write once a week and he chimes in every couple of months, of course his isn't just being churned out due to necessity. Anyway, I think this is my best yet. Read it and tell a friend - it needs more views than his ;)

The Naked Truth by Le Lorrain, rather, yours truly.

This just in...

A random list of things learned or discovered on a random Thursday:

1. A poor night of sleep in a hot room due to a broken air conditioner will lead to reading "Baby girl (+/- 12 mths) Christmas dress for sale" as "BABY GIRL FOR SALE".

2. Daft Punk, distorted through headphones and two seats over, sounds like bagpipes.

3. When you need the day to be longer, it flies by, and when you wish it away, it's slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

4. Being caught with water dribbling out of your mouth is still better than spilling an entire bottle on your multiple projects and key board.

5. If you say enough ridiculous things to non-native speakers, they'll start saying them, too. Which has lead to: "Maybe it's a tumor." "YOU'RE a tumor." "Wow, that was kind of mean."

6. Thursday generally proves to be the most entertaining and interesting day of the work week.

7. Though, Thursday will never be as joyous as Friday. Unless it's a three day weekend. Have a good one! Happy December!

Good-bye America, I'll miss you.

Well, I'm off. After a three day delay - thank God I waited at my mom's rather than sitting in the airport; and damn you, Sandy, damn you. Though, I suppose that one day I'll tell my grandchildren about it. I'm heading back to 'Nam. Excited, fulfilled, and full of love, I'm happy to have experienced the US as a vacation destination.

Driving up to JFK was much less stressful and more promising that I originally thought it would be. There was only traffic at the end, near the airport. Perhaps Sandy and her watery ways scared everyone off as much as I was concerned that it was a waste of time. We walked in and within 30 minutes standing there I had a ticket and was rushed off to the gate - because the plane was leaving in another 30 minutes - like LEAVING, not just closing the doors and sitting there. Lessons learned? A) Do not take China Eastern. B) Wait three days and forge ahead with previous plans. C) Show up with one hour to go, they'll take you ;).

It was great seeing everyone I managed to fit in, in such a short period of time. Thanks to all for making a much anticipated journey and experience totally worth it. I'll try not to wait nearly two years to get back again!

Notes from the back of the plane: Sitting by the bathroom is the worst. Not only does it smell from 30 minutes after you sit down, but people crowd around waiting for it to be empty. No, sir, he's not going to come out any faster just because you're standing here.

Also. How does one board a 15 hour flight with NOTHING to entertain himself? I'll never understand.

Happy Birthday, Momma!

Now that all is said and done I can stop being so damn secretive.

My brother and I planned what turned out to be a really amazing surprise birthday party for our mom. We managed to break into her phone, address books, and email accounts to notify friends from near and far, past and present. The Chelsea Hotel is a great venue - surprise or not. It was a terrible secret to keep, but she truly enjoyed it and I don't think we could have given her a better gift.

Being back on the east coast has been such a relaxing experience. It's been so wonderful to see so many familiar faces and know that while I'm far in distance it is clear that I'm never far in heart. It's cliche to boast of how wonderful your family and friends are, but I couldn't ask for a better set, either in the States or abroad. I've been really lucky to build such an incredible "fan" base (as Bill and I like to call it) and I'm happy to know that where ever I go, I'm going home.

That said. I came to see you suckers. Now come see me!

I'm coming home...

I tried to stay awake and reflect on my feelings about going back to the US for the first time in almost two years, but it was simply too hard and I was too sleepy. A four hour nap can't really mess up trying to catch up to the east coast time zone can it? Thankfully there are sleeping aids.

Getting off the plane in Shanghai, or wherever I am, sadly, I'm not even sure, the lines separated Foreigners and Citizens. And it hit me. I'm not, for just a few short weeks, going to be a "foreigner" anymore! The idea of walking through in the States and it being mine (in some grand scheme of things) - gotta admit I got a bit teary. If they don't say welcome home, I'm going to be really disappointed.

A few hours later: It all comes flooding back, you know? Ebbing and flooding like the tide. The reasons you left, the reasons you wish you'd stayed, the various reasons in either case that you may regret in years to come.

I don't think this will be entirely easy. Enjoyable, but not easy. And luckily, I'm not one for regretting.

Happy October!

Well, Jenny's gone and I'm working with my FOURTH English editor since I've been here. At least Jen stuck out the year - otherwise I'd think there was something wrong with me.

Know those flatmates I make reference to all the time? Meet Cat and Chris:

Chris and I are moving down two floors and over three apartments in the same building to a 2br this weekend. Cat's going back to the UK for an indiscriminate amount of time. Meanwhile, I'm slowly working my way to having my very own place for probably the first and only time in my life - not on purpose, I'm just tired of shuffling through different flatmates.

Stay tuned in coming weeks for exciting news! (No, I'm not having any babies, or puppies for that matter. I DID try to get a baby chick, but Dan discouraged it, probably for the best.)